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Monday, June 15, 2009

Understanding a woman's feeling

Aiya........I hope this would be the last post of the "love-marriage" series. My last post seems to have a little controversy. Some people agree with "my opinion". And some people don't understand at all. Well, about the 'polygamy' post, I really didn't mean to hurt the feeling of kaum hawa. Yes, polygamy is not wrong. But most women don't agree with it at all. I'm trying to imagine myself as a woman when I'm writing this post.(yarkh......terase mcm bapok paun la pulak)

Can I accept a polygamy? Hell no!!! What would I do if my husband wants to polygamy? First I will try to find is there anything wrong with me that would cause him to do so. If there is nothing wrong with me, definitely, the problem came from him (dasar lelaki miang!!!). Why I hate polygamy? This is because I love my husband so much. So how can I accept he loves somebody else instead of me? It's a very though time for me to be alone while he is somewhere else loving another person. Is a man capable to make polygamy? This is a very hard question. Part of the answer is written in the holy Quran. There is a sentence where Allah ordered male to be fair with his wives. Then there is another sentence saying that Allah knows that a man cannot be a fair person for the rest of his life. So, why did Allah ordered male to be fair but at the same time He knows that a male cannot be fair?

The answer is Allah want a male to treat his wives on a equal ground. Don't make his wives hate each other. Divide his wealth to all his wives. However, it is a fate that the man's heart won't be equal. There must be one of his wives that he loves most instead of the others. Perhaps this answers the women's questionnaire of men's capability in polygamy. Yes, you are right. A man is not fully capable in polygamy. A man should consider a woman's feeling before making any decision.

Why would I raise this trouble causing topic? Well, firstly I hope you all understand that I'm not the one that agrees with polygamy. I don't just disagree but I also hate polygamy. There's is someone who is closed to me that married more than one wife (not my family). That fertilizes a little hatred in my heart to him. At first, I could see a little chaos in his family in the beginning. Then I started wondering what people’s perceptions in polygamy are?. Well, that is not enough. During last holiday, I play Garena (game connecting players all around Malaysia and other countries). I met a Chinese who is very anti with Malay and Islam. I beat him in the game and due to emotional manner, he wrote something foul to me. He said Malay #%$#$%#%$#%, Allah %$$$$% and so on. Then I debate with him about religion. I could answer almost all questions he gave. But when it comes to polygamy, it was tough. I'm still wondering how I can defend something that I hate most but my religion allows it.

When I came back to Indonesia, I asked someone expert about this and I opened the Quran to solve the puzzles. I do have some answers. Those were what I wrote in my last post. Well, frankly, I'm still anti with polygamy. That's why I'm really interested to be part of pot pet group. I'm hoping that I could find some answers. Perhaps, I may not understand women's feeling regarding this issue. But at least the best I could do is trying to understand. The one that we can expect to be responsible is the one that that can understand others (uuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiii).

Feeling like shit when someone quite like me writing such social topic. The person that I was referring to asked me "why not you raise the polygamy issues in your blog? Maybe that would help". Easy talking than doing. I do got some views. Mostly negative perceptions. Well, actually those are not what I was hoping. About the negative views on polygamy, I have plenty on my own. What I need from you girls are some explanations on something halal in your religion but you hate it very much. How can you answer questions like why Prophet Muhammad got married with many wives but only allows his ummah to have four?, do you think Islam treat females like slaves in polygamy? How you expect from a religion that allow you to love only one but allow your husband to love many?If you know that a man cannot be fair, then why your religion allow him to be in unfair manner?. Believe me; I even got questions tougher than these.

To be honest, I write this not as an apology but perhaps I could ask something even better than that, an understanding and some answers (mcm dialog dlm cite spiderman la pulak). How can you help me? Well, just simply fill in the comment section. Or perhaps write something in your own blog. I expect something good from resourceful persons that I know like Opie, Shudud, Fain or even FAIZUL. Thanks.

Yarkkkhhhs over!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The polygamy (another yarrrkh!)

Well.......my last post seems give me inspiration to write this one. Let me tell you guyz something. Before you have a positive or negative thinking about me, I just want you to know that I'm not a good muslim who supposed to know everything about Islam, the one that always go to mosque, always read Quran, always say "Astaghfirullah" or bla bla bla.........I'm just a mere skinny and dumb little human who like to give explaination to muslims or people from other religion who misunderstood about my religion.

Well, the first issue that I want to talk about is the problem that always being discussed when female students in my batch form their "pot pet" group (sorry.......he he). The Marriage. This is a very popular topic since years ago. When they talk about this I'd love to join in and hear their opinions. Every second I feel like blowing my stomach by laughing when I see their serious faces giving opinions. However I pretend to be serious and I usually "release those laugh" in the toilet. That's why U guyz sometimes see me smiling without reason. I'd never dare to say anything in the group because girlz always unite to couter us (boyz). That's one thing I respect about them.

Well, back to the topic, most of the girlz don't agree with polygamy. Some of the non-muslims say that polygamy is cruel and ethically not logic when we're refering to the honour or the right of a woman. Perhaps some of them symbolyze it a legal form of slavery. hmmm........honestly I myself dislike polygamy. But don't hate Islam, a religion that allows polygamy. You know why?

Americans like to think muslims = have many wives, Islam = must have wives, muslimah = slaves, Arabian = sexually crazy.......whatever la you want to say. First, you have to know that Islam do not introduce polygamy. Polygamy existed since thousands years ago. Since egypt, romanian,persian,greek civilization.......long before Islam existed. People at that time married with hundreds of wives. When Islam came, it put a limit. Only four wives. And Islam do not encourage its people to polygamy. It only allows. It is just like a drug, when you need it, you can use it. But don't overdose. When you don't have to use it, don't use it at all.

Actually, polygamy in Islam protect the right and honour of a woman. Maybe I should say there is no better fortune teller than Prophet Muhammad. Just look at the world population nowadays. How many male compared with female. It's almost 1 to 4. Just imagine if one male get married with one female........what would happen to the other three? Remember........women are not spareparts! Well, Prophet Muhammad has been told that this would happen at the end of the world.........there will come a time where men are outnumbered. It's true.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Biologically, females are limited in sexual arausal due to menstrual cycle. During the first to fifth day period, the progesterone and estrogen, hormone which responsible for female sexual arausal is reduced. At this time females are physically, biologically, and emotionally unprepared for any sexual relationship. Well, the problem is what if the husband's arausal came at that time. We heard in male population, there are some people who are sexually not normal. Hypertestosterone, chromosome XYY (supermale), or perhaps sexual psyco........these people are those who need extra credit. Just pity to the single wife to have such husband.(sorry for saying too much sex sex sex.......I don't know other smooth word understandable)

Through polygamy, Islam give a pathway to solve family matter. What if a wife got accident and she is not capable to give birth. what would a man do to have a baby? Take an orphan of course or get married with another woman.If in other religions, you have to divorce first before get married with a new one. So pity. In Islam you are allowed keep the first a wife, give your love to her, protect her and at the same time you are allowed to get married with a new one to have a child. Fair....isn't it? How could a man left behind a weak woman who still need a protection from her husband.

When a couple want to divorse, a man can just simply say "I divorse you with talak 1" then its done. But a woman need to go to the court and make full report bla bla bla bla......and after a complex procedure, it is done. Sounds unfair isn't it? well actuall, in Islam this is to protect females. A male can divorse his wife without saying anything about his wife. So, people won't know anything about this woman. Therefore, in future....maybe there is still a man that can still accept this woman. But a female need to tell everything about her husband to get a divorse so that she will protect other women from marrying this man. People will know about this man, woman will be more careful, and no more woman suffer because of this man. Protecting.....isn't it?......

And most importantly, a man cannot simply have a polygamy. He must be prepared. He must have enough money to support his wives. he must physically ready. be fair. otherwise he is prohibited to do so. And he must GET PERMISSION FROM HIS WIFE before doing so. Without permission, you cannot have a polygamy. So, girlz, actually in your hands lies a power to control your husband. Don't just simply blame male who make polygamy.

It doesn't matter if you hate polygamy. But don't put your hatred in Islam that allow polygamy. I myself also don't like polygamy. But I do understand why Islam allow polygamy. There are some situations that we must consider to put a change in ourlives. It's ok if you don't understand about Islam, but don't misunderstood about it. If I get married, I would prefer to have a single wife because it's very hard for me to love more than one person. And that person is..........ops.....just kidding. ha ha.......to be continued

p/s: maaf jika tersyasyur......sumpah geli dowh tulis mende mcm ni......geli.............geli ......geli......GELIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! aku tulis ni pon sbb si tut tut tut tu mintak........arrrrrggghh!!!!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

What is your opinion about loving each other? (yaarrkh!!!)

It has been a hell long since my last post and i have a feeling that no body reads my blog now. But it's ok.......things that make ourselves fun must go on........well, I have no idea of what to talk about but......emmm........juz talk la....

What is your opinion about loving each other?. Most of my friends here are 'coupling' (I don't know this word grammatically right or wrong). Most of them got their own love story. Sometimes those stories are quite funny. Some of them (maybe most) break with their ex whom they found at old schools and college, and they usually find a new one here. Some of them are still single since in the first place. and perhaps some of them anti with 'couple'. There're so many kinds of people. But as for me, at first I don't give a shit to this kind of thing, but when there are too many questions given to me, perhaps, I should do some homework about it.

I have a feeling that they are not serious enough in loving each other. And when there's a conflict between them, some of them are just thinking of an easy way (but stupid) to solve the problem, simple, just forget each other. hmmm.....I don't have experience in love story since i'm in "single since in the first place" group. perhaps I may not understand these people. but my point of view, when U like each other, u guyz got to be serious. This kind of 'bond' is not something that we can make fun of, but a relationship that we put trust with each other, a responsibility, an understanding, and most importantly something that we are ready to pay the cost of any consequence that might come.

What is the Islamic way of 'couple'?. I don't know what to comment about this question. sometimes it sounds stupid and dumb but people keep asking, so I juz answer la!!!! well, I heard a phrase saying that there is no couple in Islam instead of marriage. So, for those dumb people who ask me this question, I juz wanna tell u guyz that when u love someone juz get serious and make a target to marriage. be prepared to be a responsible person. Don't just eat together, go to cinema together, and sms each other. It's wasting time to love each other but you don't have a target for your bond. Sometimes it breaks somebodie's feeling when you are not serious. I have many male friends that like to make fun of women's feeling. ala.... you know la when males are limited and female are overload. They just use "pakai buang" method. They really piss me off. ape korang ingat pompuan ni xde prasaan ker? Same goes to females. Ape korang ingat laki ni hati solid ker?..........hahhh.....

Is it a sin to walk together, eat together, watching film together and bla bla bla? I wanna ask you back. Do you think I'm a God to know exactly whether what you are doing is a sin or not? well, i'm just a humble human. I cannot judge you a sinner or not. you're muslims. you should know the border of your doings. As far as I concern, when a muslimin and muslimat sit close to each other, but not doing anything wrong, it is not a sin. (correct me if I'm wrong). The sin happens when what u're doing lead to zina and fitna. So watchout what u're doing.

Actually, I don't want to write this post. I swear!! but people keep saying I'm a lazy and useless IMAN (Islamic Malaysia Association) member. I guess it can't be help. I'll do it. It's very very very menggelikan.....yaarrrrkhh!!!!!

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